Thursday, December 29, 2011

In the light

Today was one of those beautifully rare days. Sixty degrees, azure blue sky cloudless to the horizon and back, and a tickling breeze hinting at the coming spring. We still have so many long months of the bitter, dreary winter ahead, but that glimpse was enough to satisfy my longing to hit the pavement, drink in a lungful of sweet, warm air, let it refresh my already winter weary bones. 

And yes, I’ll admit, that after some playtime outside with the kids, I abandoned my hubby with the crabby monsters to spend an hour with the road, the hills, the wind.

And my iPod.

And oh, can I just say how wonderful it was to not have been pounding away mercilessly monotonous minutes on a treadmill. It’s just not the same. The wind kissing your face, whisking away the surface of simmering heat. That extra push in your spirit to crest that mountainous hill. The accomplishment of actually getting somewhere, seeing the distance you’ve traveled. A treadmill might keep the extra pounds at bay when old man winter blows into town, but for me there is no substituting the real thing.

But now I am off point.

Which is the song I came across on my iPod during my euphoric run. An old gem I played on repeat for a solid thirty minutes because it seemed to just move me. "In The Light" by DC Talk. The lyrics poured over my soul, almost a cry to God.

This only serves to confirm my suspicions that I’m still a man (okay, woman—DC Talk is made up of all guys, check it) in need of a Savior. I wanna be in the light, as you are in the light. I wanna shine like the stars in the heavens. Oh, Lord be my light, and be my salvation, ‘cause ALL I want is to be in the light.

There has been a lot of talk about rebelling against the seemingly fruitless pursuit of New Year’s resolutions. I’ll be the first to admit that mine are basically the same every year and usually not super effective motivators. Get in the Word more. Lose weight. Stop crabbin'. Okay, to be fair I am not a total crab, but I do tend to indulge in a little cathartic whining when the situation merits a meltdown of sorts. But hey, I have two kids two and under. I allow myself one meltdown a day. Sometimes two J

But the words to this song wove into my heart, struck a chord, resonated the rest of the day. And I heard the whisper of God breathe into my heart.


Yes, I love the Lord. I attempt to honor Him with my life everyday. But my efforts inevitably fail. The business of life catches up and the whirlwind sweeps me away in a daily scramble of playtime, cooking, cleaning, the eternal struggle of naptime, more cleaning, feeding three boys with bottomless bellies, diapers, storytime, crying, more cleaning, errands, paying bills, temper tantrums, the tidal wave of bathtime, more cleaning . . . And even if those weren’t the things occupying my day, something else would inevitably steal my time. I can’t win. I can’t be devoted enough. Earn God’s grace, His love, His forgiveness, His favor, His blessings.

I am not worthy.

And yet . . . He calls me His own. He loves me and asks only for my heart in return.

How often are we distracted by life, our own goals. OUR plans. Resolutions too unattainable to ever achieve.

What about this one? Abide. Abide in the light and love of Christ this year.

See that you can’t and never will have it all together. And that’s okay. His love, His grace, they are not conditional on your performance. On your ability to check those goals off your To-Do List. You don’t have to be perfect or anything close. If we could earn it, Jesus needn’t have come to this earth and died on a cross.

So maybe this year, instead of focusing on what we want to make of ourselves, what if we just submit to being in the light of Christ. Resting in his arms. Trusting him with our dreams, our goals, and how to get there.

I, for one, could definitely use more rest in my life.

So, this is my New Year’s resolution for 2012.

Anyone else actually trying out a resolution this year? Or is the revolt united across the writers’ world. Oh, yeah, and anybody else remember this song?

Happy New Year! Be blessed to overflowing!

1 comment:

  1. Well, I've never made a new years resolution, but yours sounds as good as any. A day like today was definitely enough to encourage me to slow down and take in the natural world around me. Great post!