Monday, December 10, 2012

Hey Baby!

Have you ever been on the receiving end of a really bad pick up line?

I understand it takes a lot of courage for a man to cross a room and pay a woman a compliment. We women are generally the hunted. Sure, if we’re single we might send out the vibes, but very often our initial role is passive. A man has to not only traverse a room, but if he wants to snag a fish, he also must come up with a clever hook. (Something we know a little bit about as writers!)

Somehow the whole idea of a pick up line is hilarious to me. You hate to laugh at a guy for trying, but still, it’s funny. Whether you are available and on the prowl for a man, or happily married for thirty years, I challenge any woman to honestly say they don’t appreciate a little compliment, even from a complete stranger. Let’s face it, it’s nice to be noticed.

Last night I had a long overdue girls’ night with one of my closest friends. We went to the grand re-opening of our beautifully restored historic city library, and we had dinner at a quaint café downtown. The café is intertwined with campus life of the local university, so it was bustling with laptops and study groups—kids, as I now call them. Though I am not that far off in age, with two kids and a mortgage I felt like the oldest 27-year-old in the bi-state area.

So we are enjoying our dinner and conversation when a guy walks by. He makes a remark about my hair and goes outside to have a smoke. When he comes back in my friend is in the bathroom and he takes it as his moment to cast his lure.

I had to give him points for, umm . . . originality. Here’s how it played out.

Guy: “How’d you get that?”

Me with furrowed brow: “Um, pardon?”

Guy: “How’d you get that?”

Me: “My hair?” A tangly mess of wild waves. “It came this way.”

Guy: “No that.” Points at me.

Me: “I’m sorry. I don’t understand.”

Guy: “That face. So much beauty!”

Me: “Ha! Wow!”

Guy: “No really. You encapsulate me as a man, you’re so beautiful!”

Okay, now I am nearly crying! What on earth? Word confusion?

Encapsulate: Verb
1. Enclose (something) in or as if in a capsule.
2. Express the essential features of (someone or something) succinctly.

What does that even mean? Did I help solidify his sexual orientation? What a strange and hysterical curve ball.

Me mid laugh: “Not entirely sure what you mean, but I’m sure I’m flattered. Thank you!”

When my friend and I left we had a good laugh in the car about some of the funnier lines we've heard or been the victim of.

One of my favorites was this one…

“Is that a rhinestone jacket, or do you just sparkle?”

So, it’s Monday…. It’s a good a day as any for a hearty laugh.

What is your worst pick up line? And how did you respond?