Wednesday, March 27, 2013

I Can't Get No Satisfaction


As I’m certain all of you know by now, life is, well . . . hard. Busy. Hectic. Stressful. Exhausting.

There are countless distractions that steal my time and my focus away from my Source. And often enough, my Source starts to feel like a side dish, and then maybe a dessert, or just an occasional splurge. It’s much more difficult to notice just a pound or two. Most often it’s only when you’re completely out of shape that you start to realize how horrendous your diet has become.

As a mother of two wild-child toddlers, most days when I catch my reflection in the mirror I have one of those “Whoa!” moments. As in “Whoa, sister, what the heck happened to you? You used to be kinda cute and, well, skinny, with unlined skin and an almost perpetual grin. 

When did I lose my focus? When did I become complacent? How did I get so out of shape?

With everything in me I want to be desperate for God. But am I? And how, with the kids and the bills, and a marriage, and relationships, and writing, and blogging, and facebook, and church, and missions, and . . . (you get the idea), do I find time to indulge in Him?


In my heart I’m not trying to simply perform or look good on paper so that others might commend my holiness. Ick! Even just thinking that makes me all itchy with the hypocrisy of it all. Legalism. Empty works. Going through the motions.

That is not how I want to glorify the God that is my very breath. The God who has blessed me with this wonderfully exhausting home and family. The God who has never abandoned me even in my darkest, desert nights.

So why do I feel like a snail wiggling inch by inch up an endlessly long and treacherous mountain when, in reality, I know that I will never reach that ideal peak. There is no perfection to be had here. There is no earthy destination where I will have done everything God has for me to do and then I can just dust off my hands, kick up my feet, and wait to see his Glory face-to-face.

Since my efforts very often fall short and leave me filled with frustration, am I bringing Him any glory at all?

A few weeks ago at church my uber-awesome Pastor said something that stuck all over me like winter static. He said:

God is most glorified in you when you are satisfied in Him.

Man, it really got me thinking  . . . Am I satisfied? My life is great, but am I so caught up in my daily struggles that I’m left wanting more without the energy to even cry out for it?

This profound thought has been tooling around in my brain for a few weeks, and yet, I'm not convinced I know how to be fully satisfied with where I am at. Every day is a battle. From the unique struggles that we are facing with our children, to the constant financial battle of getting ahead, and the challenges of my husbands dreadful job, I feel like we are simply pushing through the junk in hopes of the day when things won't be quite so difficult.

But that really just means that we are missing out on what God is trying to teach us right now. Missing out on time that we will never get back. And failing to see that regardless of our circumstances, we are called by God to be a light today. To show his love, joy, grace, and compassion today. To seek him with everything we have, not tomorrow, or when life finally settles down (as if that will ever happen), but TODAY.
What do people see when they look at me? Do they see the snot-crusted mommy who hasn’t had a good nights sleep in almost four years? Or do they see a joyful servant of the Most High, blessed beyond belief and satisfied with the God that is always more than enough?

What about you? Are you shining with His Glory? Or are you so worn out that you can’t even reflect His goodness?

Regardless of your struggles, are you satisfied?

18 comments:

  1. Great stuff here, Amy! It's all too easy to fall into the trap of thinking "when I reach this point, then..." But that point isn't coming. Or if it does, we're only going to have another point ahead of us to strive toward. It's one of the reasons I love that song - In Christ Alone.

    What heights of love, what depths of peace, when fears are stilled, when strivings cease...

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  2. I love that song! And you are right, that kind of thinking is a trap, and a sure way to hinder your joy and satisfaction. So glad you came by, sweetie! Just got your new book in the mail. Planning a date with it real soon! Can't wait!

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  3. OMG Katie. I was singing that this morning in the shower, just to be able to breathe. Wow. God is so amazing. And Amy this post blessed me a lot and is yet another reminder from my Jesus. Thanks for being a transparent vessel. Katie you're right, too, in that there will always be something else. If or when my current storm is over, there will be another one of equal, lessor or greater density. It's LIFE. I have to GOT to let go of the mindset that "when this happens then..." NO MORE OF THAT CRAP. Free me Jesus.

    So glad two of my fav people are in the comments here :) Love you girls.

    And Amy, you're gonna love her latest book.

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    1. Betsy, I know it's so hard to see Jesus clearly when everything seems wrecked beyond repair, but He is faithful even in all our doubt and restlessness. Don't let the devil rob you of this time to shine. We persevere in spite of it all, because He created us to. Love you, girl! Always praying!

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  4. BTW Katie, I was singing that exact verse, and ONLY that verse, by the way. LOL Wow. The things God does.

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    1. LOVE the way the Holy Spirit works, friend. You're like a sister to me.

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  5. You are sooooo not alone in this!! God is teaching me lately to slow down, give my first fruits to Him...which, for me, means spending time every morning meditating and praying. It's hard because I have a thousand other to-do's on my list...but it's so worth it. Slowly He's transforming my heart, making Him enough for me. Not that I don't have days I disappoint myself...but still. If I can't be satisfied with where I am now, I'll never be. Because circumstances change all the time, but He doesn't.

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    1. I couldn't agree more, Linds! He needs to be a priority, planned into your day, otherwise, time slips away

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  6. Amy,
    I was recently looking through boxes of old pictures, and the thought occurred to me how blessed my life has been. Not that there haven't been struggles, but God has always been there for me. 2 Cor. 12:9 says-"My grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in weakness." Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

    Live in the moment Amy! You also have a very blessed life:)When you rest in God, He will work on your behalf.

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    1. There are always reasons to feel restless, but you are absolutely right. The best way to be satisfied is to REST in Him! I love that image! And I love that verse :)

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  9. Linked from "Getting Real" blog.

    Very good post. I'm studying for a class now in Christian Spiritual Formation. Your article addresses some of the issues/problems in spiritual growth we are reading about now. We never do arrive, but we can always be in motion towards. Good post.

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    1. Thanks Warren! I'm so glad you stopped by!

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  10. Amy Leigh,
    I just posted an article on Spiritual Formation, "Reading the Bible Like John Chrysostom," and thought I'd pass it along to you. If you get a chance to read it you can find it here: www.warrenbaldwin.blogspot.com/2013/04/reading-bible-like-john-chrysostom.html


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  12. Amy girl! I am glad I found your blog. Following and love your authentic words! We blondies have to stick together, right? : ) See you at ACFW in Sept. Hugs! ~ K

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  13. Thanks Kristy! So glad to see you here :) and you are totally right... Blondes have to watch out for each other! ;)

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