Monday, December 10, 2012

Hey Baby!


Have you ever been on the receiving end of a really bad pick up line?

I understand it takes a lot of courage for a man to cross a room and pay a woman a compliment. We women are generally the hunted. Sure, if we’re single we might send out the vibes, but very often our initial role is passive. A man has to not only traverse a room, but if he wants to snag a fish, he also must come up with a clever hook. (Something we know a little bit about as writers!)

 
Somehow the whole idea of a pick up line is hilarious to me. You hate to laugh at a guy for trying, but still, it’s funny. Whether you are available and on the prowl for a man, or happily married for thirty years, I challenge any woman to honestly say they don’t appreciate a little compliment, even from a complete stranger. Let’s face it, it’s nice to be noticed.

Last night I had a long overdue girls’ night with one of my closest friends. We went to the grand re-opening of our beautifully restored historic city library, and we had dinner at a quaint café downtown. The café is intertwined with campus life of the local university, so it was bustling with laptops and study groups—kids, as I now call them. Though I am not that far off in age, with two kids and a mortgage I felt like the oldest 27-year-old in the bi-state area.

So we are enjoying our dinner and conversation when a guy walks by. He makes a remark about my hair and goes outside to have a smoke. When he comes back in my friend is in the bathroom and he takes it as his moment to cast his lure.

I had to give him points for, umm . . . originality. Here’s how it played out.

Guy: “How’d you get that?”

Me with furrowed brow: “Um, pardon?”

Guy: “How’d you get that?”

Me: “My hair?” A tangly mess of wild waves. “It came this way.”

Guy: “No that.” Points at me.

Me: “I’m sorry. I don’t understand.”

Guy: “That face. So much beauty!”

Me: “Ha! Wow!”

Guy: “No really. You encapsulate me as a man, you’re so beautiful!”

Okay, now I am nearly crying! What on earth? Word confusion?

Encapsulate: Verb
1. Enclose (something) in or as if in a capsule.
2. Express the essential features of (someone or something) succinctly.

What does that even mean? Did I help solidify his sexual orientation? What a strange and hysterical curve ball.

Me mid laugh: “Not entirely sure what you mean, but I’m sure I’m flattered. Thank you!”

When my friend and I left we had a good laugh in the car about some of the funnier lines we've heard or been the victim of.

One of my favorites was this one…

“Is that a rhinestone jacket, or do you just sparkle?”

So, it’s Monday…. It’s a good a day as any for a hearty laugh.

What is your worst pick up line? And how did you respond?


17 comments:

  1. That's awesome.

    And you are very beautiful, and have great hair, by the way. ;)

    Um, my personal favorite:

    "Did it hurt?"
    "What?"
    "When you fell from heaven. Did it hurt?"

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    1. Haha!! Very closely related to checking a woman's tag and saying "Just what I thought, made in heaven!"

      Thanks Linds! You are quite stunning yourself! :)

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  2. hahahaha AWWW I used to take class there since Webster U uses it as a campus! But how funny the wrong pick up like for a word-smith like you!!

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  3. Sad to say I can't remember any pick up lines. I did however totally enjoy your blog, and could picture your facial expressions vividly. Too funny:)

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    1. I remember you getting the... "And who is this, your older sister?" Haha! We do kinda look alike so they must have good taste, huh? ;) Thanks for reading!

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  4. I loved his line about you encapsulating him. Too funny!

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    1. Yes, it was really original, for sure. :)

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  5. Some guy comes up to me at a restaurant, "you look just like Jamie Lee Curtis." Now, J.L.C. may have looked good in her younger years, but I'm picturing silver haired, pixie, Activia commercial lady. My reply was a grimace and "thanks...?"

    It's fun when they think they've knocked your socks off with their originality! Lol
    Fun blog post, Amy.

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    1. Haha!! Perhaps we should have asked them to clarify... but then again, it might be best not knowing :)

      I used to waitress in college and I would get the comparison thng alot. "You know who you look like... Kelly Ripa, Ashley Olsen, Gwenyth Paltrow, Insert celebrity blonde here..." I get it, I'm blonde but for Pete's sake, we don't all look alike!

      Glad you stopped by, Bethany! PS. you're way hotter than JLC on her finest day. :)

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  6. Oh. My. Word.
    As in the wrong word ...
    And I'm still trying to figure out what the guy meant ...
    You emasculated him?
    No, that would be way-wrong.
    You enraptured him?
    You ... whatever you did, you wrecked his ability to speak.

    I wonder how long he stayed in the men's room practicing that line.

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    1. Haha! Poor guy, I could barely speak I was laughing so hard! It was a valiant effort ;)

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    2. Yes, Beth, my thinking exactly; emasculate / enraptured.
      When I worked as an optician folks were constantly mistaking my profession for obstetrician.

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    3. LOL! Cherry, those professions are vastly different, aren't they. Not sure what the guy meant, but it might be a blessing to never know. ;) Thanks for stopping by!

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  7. I'm a man and happily married, so a pick-up line for me is where all the Fords and Chevy's are parked at the ball field. Repeating the worst pick-up line I've heard could get me in trouble with my congregation. The best line is, "Hi, do you like Chris Tomlin's music?" (You figure out why.)

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    1. :) Alright PJ, now you need to come up with a really good one to charm your wife. If she's not flattered I'm sure you'll earn a great laugh! So glad to have a male perspective here! Thanks for stopping by. I'm gonna share that Chris Tomlin line with my brother ;) Might help him narrow things down.

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